I honestly didn’t know that iguanas bit people. Considering the fact that I’ve only ever seen them eating vegetables and sitting on heat-rocks, I’m still pretty sure they don’t. This shooter is slammin’, though - so I’m going to add it in spite of the fact that its name besmirches the good name of iguanas everywhere. Don’t worry, iguanas: I still love ya; even if you do look like naked moon-chickens.

Bite of the Iguana - Recipe:

• 1/2 oz Vodka
• 1 oz Tequila
• 3/4 oz Triple Sec
• 1 oz Orange Juice
• 1 oz Sweet and Sour Mix
• splash of sprite, 7up, sierra mist, or whatever

Mix ingredients in a cocktail mixer and shake. Strain and pour into shot glasses. Enjoy.

Since I was challenged yesterday to come through with a few more tequila-based recipes — not that there aren’t some here already — I figured I’d go with one of the best named tequila cocktails around. Why? Because it makes for good blog headlines, mostly.

Tequila Mockingbird - Recipe:

• 1 1/2 ounces Tequila
• 1/2 ounce Triple Sec
• 1/2 ounce Blue Curaçao
• 2 ounces Orange Juice
• 1 ounce Cranberry Juice

This is one of those rare drinks where the “balance” ingredients (the juices) are also measured precisely. It’s also uncommon, in that it has juice ingredients, but you don’t mix this cocktail.

Fill your highball glass or tumbler with ice. Add tequila and triple sec, followed by orange juice and cranberry; then, lastly, the blue curaçao. Don’t shake or stir it; let it blend on its own. Garnish with a lemon wedge or a cherry, if desired.

I ordered some Girl Scout cookies today; I’m a sucker for samoas. So, it followed, logically, that I would post this drink. Although, to be fair, this drink tastes more like thin mints.

Dirty Girl Scout - Recipe:

• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
• 1 oz Bailey’s® Irish cream
• 1 oz white creme de menthe

Mix the vodka, kahlua and bailey’s and pour over ice. Pour the creme de menthe down the center of the glass. Looks gross, but tastes delicious!

Most of the people I’ve served didn’t seem to know this, but Daiquiris don’t taste like strawberries by default. Also, they’re not made “frozen,” either.

The Daiquiri is a Cuban cocktail, invented a little over 100 years ago; and exactly 100 years ago, in 1909, the Daiquiri was introduced to the United States during a private party at the Army and Navy Club in Washington, D.C. It quickly became a favorite cocktail among many famous historical figures, including John F. Kennedy, Ernest Hemingway, who each have versions of the drink named after themselves.

Traditionally, Daiquiris are made by sprinkling powdered sugar over ice, then adding rum and fresh lime juice. Nowadays, in the chain restaurant era, they’re made with rum, lime juice cordial, schnapps and occassionally frozen fruit. Today, we’re doing a double-post: for those who want the original, as well as for those with more modern tastes.

Daiquiri - Recipe:

• 2 oz light rum
• 1 tsp powdered sugar
• fresh lime juice

Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.

Frozen Daiquiri - Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz light rum
• 1 tbsp triple sec
• 1 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 cherry
• 1 cup crushed ice

Add all ingredients (except the cherry) into a blender and fire it up. After blending, pour contents into a margarita glass and garnish with a cherry.

There are a lot of cocktails out there that taste pretty good - until you find out what’s in them. The Kool Aid cocktail is a lot like that. Although, to be fair, I guess one could argue that if you knew precisely what was in the actual Kool-Aid mix, you’d probably be grossed out by that, too.

I’d like to say that this cocktail legitimately tastes like drinking Kool-Aid, but I haven’t had that stuff in a pretty long time. What I can say is that it tastes better than it sounds; if you like your drinks sweet, that is.

Kool Aid - Recipe:

• 1.5 oz Midori
• 1.5. oz Amaretto
• 1.5 oz Vodka
• Cranberry Juice

Fill a collins glass with ice. Add the Midori, Amaretto and Vodka, and fill the remainder of the glass with cranberry juice.

It’s somewhat strange to me, but there aren’t too many people who truly appreciate Cranberry Juice; especially not in their cocktails. Still, cranberry juice - or rather, the combination of cranberry juice and vodka - is the cornerstone for many a cocktail. So, as was done with orange juice, I’m going to hit you with a few cranberry juice based highballs all at once.

You know, in case you just happen to have several bottles of Ocean Spray lying around.

Cape Cod - Recipe:

• 3 oz (or one shot) vodka
• Cranberry juice

Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour in your vodka, and fill the rest of the glass with cranberry juice as the balance. If you can’t measure ounces very easily (we’re Americans, it happens), then just pour it in a shot glass.

Madras - Recipe:

• 3 oz (1 shot) vodka
• Orange Juice
• Cranberry Juice

Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour in your vodka, then add equal parts Orange and Cranberry juice until the glass is filled. Garnish with an orange slice.

Cranberry Cooler - Recipe:

• 3 oz vodka
• 1 oz amaretto
• Cranberry juice
• Orange juice

Fill a collins glass with ice. Pour in your vodka and amaretto, then add equal parts orange and cranberry juice until the glass is filled. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Ruby Relaxer  - Recipe:

Happy New Year, everybody!

I’m finally back to 100% after the mysterious surgical procedure I alluded to right before New Year’s Eve. So, regular posting has returned to Underground Bartender! w00t!

Yeah, you’re not saying it out loud, but I can tell - you’re really excited. I feel it. 

Before I get into today’s recipe, a quick note - to the winner of the Martini Set: I emailed you last Thursday morning, and haven’t heard from you since. In order to send this item to you, you’re going to have to respond. If you don’t speak up by this Friday, I’m going to go back to the ol’ number generator. Although technically, you could just win all over again. 

Now that that’s out of the way, I present you with the Malibu Bay Breeze. This is a fun, tasty drink, and a safe one too; if you overdid it for the New Year and don’t want to drink anything too strong, yet still want to be social, ordering this drink might be the move for you. 

Malibu Bay Breeze - Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
• 2 oz cranberry juice
• 2 oz pineapple juice

Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour in your Malibu, and add your juices as the balance. Serve.

Today’s a pretty big day; aside from the end of a pretty eventful year, it’s the end of our first contest - which I think is way more important. And, the winner is…

…going to be contacted discreetly by email. It’ll be up to them whether or not they want to gloat about their winnings on the site. Don’t worry too much if you didn’t win this time, though; since it worked out pretty well, and everyone was so excited about it, we’re going to start having contests every month! And yes, we’ll have different items to give away, if you were wondering.

As I can’t guarantee that either you nor I will want to look at a computer screen after tonight’s festivities, I’m going to go ahead and post a few tips on how to beat a hangover.

Beating a Hangover

Hangovers are caused by the by products of the chemical process involved with processing alcohol in your body. When your liver breaks down the alcohol, your body synthesizes acetaldehyde, which is chemically not too different from formaldehyde (it’s not good for you). At the same time, your body uses a lot of water, vitamins A, B6, and C as components in the chemical process.

What does all that mean? It means if you drink a lot, your hangover is caused by vitamin deficiency, dehydration, and your body’s synthesis of a toxin that resembles the stuff they preserve dead things with. Therefore, whatever it is you do to cure a hangover, it should attack one or all of these problems. Here’s some ways how:

• Drink LOTS of Gatorade. I, personally, drink tons of gatorade right after drinking, just to stave off a hangover, but if I fall asleep before I can (hey, it happens), then I usually chug away at at least a half gallon of the stuff once I get up. It’s more efficient at rehydrating your body in a hurry than water, so it’ll help take care of that side of things.
• Take Vitamins. Take a multivitamin, and if you’re really feeling it, take an extra vitamin C and B-complex. Those are water soluble so you’re okay to take extra on an off day; vitamin A is fat soluble, so overdosing on that one can do a lot more harm than good.
• SLEEP. Not only will your body be able to process out the acetaldehyde (so that by the time you wake up, you just pee it all away), it also helps because you’re not awake while it hurts.
• Ginger Ale. You’re probably feeling pretty nauseous today, what with the hangover and all. The bubbles and the ginger essence in ginger ale will calm that down for you.
• No Coffee, No Coke. I know lots of people say drinking coffee will help you deal with how tired you feel, but with the dehydration that caffeine induces, this will work against you more than for you in a hangover situation. If you’re taking the B complex, the B12 should be giving you a bit more energy that day, which will help you avoid the immediate need for caffeine.
• Eat something after drinking. This is more of a preventive measure. Whenever I go drinking, by the time I’ve said “when,” I’m ready to grab some pizza, a cheesesteak, or some other warm, cheesy, substantial food. Food doesn’t absorb the alcohol - that’s a myth - but every time you eat, you trigger your metabolism. Eating foods that are cheesy and have lots of ingredients is good because cheeses and carbs are a good source of some of the amino acids you’re going to want back after liquor takes them away.
• Asprin. Asprin doesn’t help process the alcohol, but it takes the edge off of that headache of yours. But take it when you wake up; taking the asprin before you go to sleep is a really bad idea; mainly because your liver has enough to deal with at that point. If you want to kill two birds with one stone, get yourself a couple of Alka Seltzer tabs  - the ones that are for pain relief contain asprin, and they’ll calm down your upset stomach.

There you have it - a simple, but very logical and effective way to deal with any hangover. Best part of all, you don’t have to do any of the more ridiculous remedies, like drinking pickle juice, or doing a “wasabi bomb” right before drinking a quart of chocolate milk. Now that you’re armed with information, feel free to go out there, have a Happy New Year, and celebrate the start of 2009 by scoring yourself a category 5 hangover; you’ll be able to handle it.

I’m back!

I’m healing up after the horrible dental nightmare I had on Christmas Eve, and I’m looking forward to making up for it on New Year’s Eve. So, this week, I’m posting a few New Year’s Eve drinks, and then, on January 1st, I’ll probably post up a bunch of hangover remedies.

Actually, I think I’ll do that early on the 31st - if you have a hangover on the first, you probably won’t want to be staring into a computer screen. I suppose that leaves us with only two New Years-y drinks, so I’ll make these good ones; starting off with the Kir Royale. This is a great drink for this particular year: the economy stinks, so most of us aren’t going to be buying up multiple bottles of Armand de Brignac - or as it’s colloquially known nowadays, “that Ace of Spades.” You can make this with a few bottles of America’s favorite inexpensive champagne, Korbel Brut, and still come off as pretty fancy.

Kir Royale - Recipe:

• 1 tbsp Chambord
• Balance Champagne

This is a pretty easy one - pour the Chambord into a champagne flute, add the champagne, and serve. If you’re really hurting for cash or having a really big party, you can substitute Creme de Cassis for Chambord. If you’re feeling extra-fancy, you can garnish this drink by placing an odd number of raspberries or blackberries in the glass.